Cracking the Group

Posted on 28. Sep, 2009 by Oliver Van Peeples.

Dear Purrr-seekers & Whisker Cleaners:
Everyone’s got a winning tool…you just need to figure out what yours is!
-HBO’s ‘Hung’
In this week’s lesson, I am going to teach you how to break into a group of cougars, and make off with (or make out with as the case may be) the one you want.  The procedure we [...]

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Better than a Bugle

Posted on 22. Sep, 2009 by John Roblinsky.

On any given Thursday thru Saturday night a few phone calls to the Favorites Lists can produce at least one other hunting bud.  If I want a bigger crew there needs to be a little more scheduling.  My crew of cougar hunters only need a couple days notice on average to get mentally prepared to [...]

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Recession-Proof Cougar Hunting

Posted on 03. Jun, 2009 by Oliver Van Peeples.

Dear Fellow Cougar Hunters,
Just when you thought it was safe to return to your local cherry-oak-walled wine-bar (the one at the Four Seasons with the grand piano) – Wham! a recession hits. The crowd has thinned and so has your wallet, and the cougars have dialed back from aggressive to docile…to downright timid. What’s the [...]

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Stay Hydrated

Posted on 23. May, 2007 by Jasper Sanchez.

There’s nothing greater than getting wore out by an energetic cougar. But it’s important to stay hydrated. While we all know this—many of us keeping a bottle of water and a crystal decanter of scotch on the nightstand—a recent evening highlighted the importance of hydration not just for you, but for the cougar herself.
Out at [...]

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Shit, Does She Want to Dance?

Posted on 22. May, 2007 by John Roblinsky.

May is a great month.  The flowers begin to bloom, the air is sweet and the bodies are hot.  I’m not sure what cosmic force was going on last weekend, but every hotty in the hood was out on the town.  Even on amatuer night (Saturday) girls outnumbered guys 2:1 at the four bars I [...]

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Being Eaten Alive

Posted on 05. Apr, 2007 by John Roblinsky.

Spring in the city and the cougars are everywhere and at epic ferocity.  CBS just wrote an article on the increase in appetite among our prey.
While we figure out how to make time to write about our conquests we’ll leave you with the hottest spot to hunt in the Washington DC area:
Alexandria, VA specifically old [...]

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When you can’t find a Cougar

Posted on 01. Mar, 2007 by John Roblinsky.

Let’s say you’re out trollin for cougars—or any woman—but you come up short.  Even your boys here at HC admit that it happens to all of us much more than we like.  You had high hopes for the night, especially after reading the Bible, but no cougars pounced.  You even tried playin a wolf and [...]

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Trinke Liebe. Trinke schnell.

Posted on 27. Feb, 2007 by Elias Boston.

Jaeger’s back with a brand neue jam.

There are times when sipping is right. A sweet glass of Pinot Noir to complement your beefsteak. Receiving Holy Communion from Father O’Pheelmeup. And then there are times when sipping will get you an ass-whipping faster than Marilyn Chambers in Babysitter 15: The Case of the Anal Abacus Beads. [...]

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More Mistakes

Posted on 21. Feb, 2007 by K. Armadilla.

For those of you searching for a touch of class in your next Valentine’s Day dinner, allow me to recommend Capitol Hill’s Two Quail, nestled at 320 Massachusetts Ave, NE.  While I can’t speak to this establishment’s food, or to its service, or even to its decor, I still feel confident that this is the [...]

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