Cracking the Group

Posted on 28. Sep, 2009 by Oliver Van Peeples in Education, Hunting Aides

Dear Purrr-seekers & Whisker Cleaners:

Everyone’s got a winning tool…you just need to figure out what yours is!

-HBO’s ‘Hung’

In this week’s lesson, I am going to teach you how to break into a group of cougars, and make off with (or make out with as the case may be) the one you want.  The procedure we are about to discuss is one of the most important – nay, indispensable – tools every young man must carry in his box, and is indubitably pertinent to our success with cougars.

Start by asking yourself how often you see cougars hanging out alone?  I would say, very rarely.  Sure, there may be the occasional gal who grabs a quick drink after work, or momentarily dips into the oral care isle at CVS to replenish her stock of dental appliances, but these encounters are destined to be fleeting at best.  Most likely, you’ll find her in the company of friends.

It can be intimidating to approach a group of cougars in a bar or at a winery, especially if your friends have sent you out as the ambassador, or satellite as I like to say.  But I’ve got you covered, friends…here’s how to do it:

When you approach the group you already have your crush in mind, of course, as she was the character you first noticed and for whom you came over in the first place.  But in order to win her, you’ll need to win the group first.

Approach and say “Hello” to the group (do not necessarily address the one you want at this point – just try to say “Hi” and make eye contact with everyone quickly.)

In general, a group will then break down as follows – some of the cougars will return the favor – “Hello there” and perhaps even bat their eyelashes at you – and some other ones will look away and shake their heads or make sighs and “sheesh” eyes at their friends, as if you were a square and had no chance.  Don’t be intimidated.  Now you know your allies – the “friendlies” – and the ones you have to win over – the “unconvinced contingent.”

Keep the conversation going with the friendlies, and laugh and chat them up – if you can win over a couple of her friends in the first few moments, you’re doing just dandy!  Systematically bring the unconvinced contingent into your circle, by asking them questions to answer in front of the group, or even playing them against the friendlies in the group (“You’re right Cindy – I’ll bet Caitlin feels the same way too – she’s probably just too shy to speak up.”)  Trust me, that will get her talking!  Once you’ve won over the unconvinced contingent, you’re golden.  You’ve proved to the group that you can entertain and delight them all, thus demonstrating your value, and you can now begin putting the moves on the one you actually wanted (unless you’ve since taken a shine to another member of the group…target changes happen often!)

Eventually, you’ll get your favorite cougar away from her friends for a while (once they know you’re cool, they’ll slip over to the bar or go to meet other guys, and leave your pick feeling vulnerable and wanting to talk more with you.)  Get her number, then make an excuse that you have to go, and vanish mysteriously into the crowd…leaving her wanting more.  Once out of sight, pat yourself on the back – “Well done!”

To Recap:  If you want to win over a cougar who is in a group, you’ve got to win the group first!  Involve the ones who don’t like you in the conversation and they should warm up; if you don’t succeed, then play the ones who like you against the ones who don’t, and you’ll emerge victorious.

Winning the group is like winning the crowd in Rome – if you can do that, than even Caesar himself cannot give you the thumbs down!

Happy Hunting!

OVP

Tags: bar, conversation, cvs, group, pick-up, pickup