Bethesda Fatties, DC Bitches & The State of the Sexes, 2009

Posted on 11. Sep, 2009 by Oliver Van Peeples in Education

To my dear fellow big cat taggers:

I am going to break stride with the usual beat of my beloved huntingcougar.com, and for once take some time to rant and rave rather than extol the virtues of the opposite sex.  I do hope you enjoy the occasional bit of random anger, in the spirit of George Carlin – certainly those readers of mine who are young men, I believe you will extend your sympathies and convey similar feelings to those of your old friend Oliver VP, when you read what I have to say below.

Huntingcougar.com’s writers stretch coast to coast, but this particular article pertains to Washington DC, which happens to be where yours truly makes his humble abode.  And due to the fact that this topic is far too large (literally and metaphysically) to jam into a single blog post, I’ve broken it down into three categories for us to attack: Bethesda Fatties, DC Bitches, and The State of the Sexes, 2009.

Bethesda Fatties.  Bethesda, Maryland, is one of the most wealthy and neatly kept bedroom communities of Washington, DC.  Everywhere you look are luxury automobiles, high-end restaurants and boutiques of all flavors.  In such a fine place one would expect to find the crème de la crème of elegant ladies…er, nope!  In actuality, most everywhere you look are underdressed, overweight women.  Many of them work, and some of them don’t, but the vast majority of them are not even trying to pretend to make an effort, and they celebrate it with trips to the gelateria.  I am sorry, but this sets the bar to a new low for upscale women.  Equality does NOT mean that you need to become rich fat slobs like men…take pride in your sex!  And Bethesda men, I challenge you to demand more from your females, even if they are your bosses!  :p

DC Bitches.  I have noticed a breeze that is turning into a gale in DC (perhaps it has something to do with the end of summer?), of women who dress up nice, go out to a bar or other social venue with their girlfriends, and consistently poo-poo the guys who make advances towards them.  I’m not sure if this is another result of hyperextended feminism, but it is certainly the result of mismatched priorities.  If you ladies want to just sit and chat with each other, please don’t invade everyone else’s social venues with your mightier than thou attitudes.  There are plenty of places you can go where you won’t bring down the vibe by being cliquish and antisocial…may I recommend one of the many fine restaurants DC has to offer?  You can talk all night over a bottle of wine or two and a bowl of hummus.

The State of the Sexes, 2009.  We have come a long way, young Men of America.  We grew up in the 80s and 90s, thinking that women were too skinny and should eat better (I literally remember thinking this when everyone was making such a big deal about those poor, emaciated models…alas, what a departure!), and that being men we could perhaps use our strength, logic and silliness, to attract and play with the opposite sex.  AND perhaps, heaven forbid, the women of our society would play their role to some extent, being ambitious, beautiful, delicate, wise and charming, and open to maybe just a little bit of chivalry (oh my god did I just say the C-word, whoops!!)

Unfortunately, the State of Women today seems to be doggy-paddling towards the lowest common denominator.  I see plenty of women who are fantastically successful at business and their careers, in many cases even moreso than my friends, which is fine in and of itself, but they’re losing touch with what it is to be a woman.  They’re letting many of their feminine qualities slip, in the name of extreme equality.  Men and women should be equal, but we should not forget our nature.  In fact, we should celebrate it, as the dance our species has been doing for tens of thousands of years.  Come on women, you can do better!  Men want you for the qualities that make you who you are, not how much money you make.  The same could hopefully be said of the men you want in your lives.

Afterword:  If men and women are completely equal, what’s the fun in that??

It sucks the romance out of the air and reduces it to nothing more than a compatibility search on Match.com…we shouldn’t be searching for compatibility, we should be searching for incompatibility…for only out of this is true romance born!!

On a sour note,

OVP

P.S.  YES, real women do have curves!  I of all people would know this…BUT curves are not rolls!  To the gym with ye!!

Tags: Bethesda, bitches, dc, fatties, irritations, overweight, rant