Shit, Does She Want to Dance?

Posted on 22. May, 2007 by John Roblinsky in Adventures

May is a great month.  The flowers begin to bloom, the air is sweet and the bodies are hot.  I’m not sure what cosmic force was going on last weekend, but every hotty in the hood was out on the town.  Even on amatuer night (Saturday) girls outnumbered guys 2:1 at the four bars I was at and there was a similar consensus from the other guys roaming MD, DC, nothern VA, and Virginia Beach.  Awesome.

I digress. We all know that Friday night is the better night to hunt cougars and on Friday night three of us including Oliver Van Peeples went out to the classy, Gua Rapo in the Courthouse neighborhood of Arlington, VA.  Gua Rapo is a restaurant/lounge with a generally mid-20/30’s, international crowd.  The DJ didn’t have anyone on the dance floor on the second floor so we went to the first floor were there was a great merengue band playing.  Oliver was able to get us a table right in front, we got a hookah and some drinks, and settled down to watch the latinas shake their asses.

Even before we got our table we noticed three cougys (maybe in their 40s) also at a front table and when we were seated next to them, Oliver spent no time breaking the ice.  It wasn’t long before we were talking about Columbia (their native country) and ordering some Aguardiente that would “go right to our head.”

While my first thought was to get one of these ladies to show me some dance moves, I knew some latin stud could easily swoop in and poach mi pantera de Bogotá while I stumbled over my feet trying to salsa.  But if I just sat around chatting and the ladies wanted to dance, my talk wouldn’t matter…so on to the hunt:

BAIT IT: Find out if she likes to dance without feeling obligated to dance if she really loves it.

1. Excused myself from the table (went to the restroom)
2. On my way back I jumped between a group of girls, gyrated a bit (my best dance move) with a non-threatening, goofy smile on my face
3. Sat down before my move got old or offended any boyfriends

I got a good laugh from the group and showed them that I wasn’t afraid to dance if they wanted to make the move.  With the lure baited, the silky jungle cougs could make their moves when they wanted.

Eventually a lone poacher wandered into our hunting ground and was able to score a dance with the cougy that couldn’t speak english.  Poachers were to be expected, but now I waited to see if the others were in the dancing mood and if my bait was effective.

And it was!  The finest Columbiana leaned over to me, pointed out her friend who was dancing with the poacher, and laughed, “that’s why I don’t dance.”

It wasn’t clear why she didn’t dance and I can only guess she was laughing at her friend for looking so bored while dancing with the poacher, but I laughed back anyway and replied, “I’ll drink to that!”

Tags: bar, dc, poacher, puma