Dress To Impress: the Magic Item Theory

Posted on 12. Mar, 2007 by Oliver Van Peeples in Hunting Aides

Listen Up, my Dear Fellow Coug-Crazy Men:

Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm!! We’ve all gotten that little voice in our head when we’re out in a nice lounge, sipping a manhattan, a glass of champagne, or even a RBV (if anyone asks, say it’s a GGG–a ginger grey goose.  I have no idea what that tastes like (shit?) but since no one knows they won’t question you.)  Phew.  Now that that’s over, here’s the lesson of the day.

When you get that mmmm feeling looking at a woman, chances are there’s something about her that makes her stand out from the crowd.  Maybe she’s got hip huggers that could squeeze Florida orange juice from 10 feet away.  Maybe she’s got a cleavage line that would give a triangle two right angles.  Maybe her skirt’s so tight you can read the tag on her underwear!

All fine and dandy possibilities but the truth is, chances are you noticed her because she was wearing something to make her stand out from the crowd.  A red scarf, a turquoise necklace, a yellow camisole–even the big silver hoochie earrings (we’ll do an article about those another time).  The point is, by wearing at least one item of clothing that stands out, it helps a great deal to get noticed when you’re going out.  This rule applies to both women and men…but is especially important to men.

All Black…is OUT.

Think about it, how often do the ladies go for a guy dressed all in black!?  Fellas, it is time to leave the all-black outfit to the amateurs, the wide-eyed shrinkers from human touch and conversation, the business blokes who think that dressing like a shadow on the wall is what the ladies want.  No!!  Dress nice, and then grab ONE ITEM that has flare, and add it to your outfit.  I promise you will get double the attention from the opposite sex the next time you step to the scene.

But be careful–don’t go for too much flare, unless you’re a rap star or someone with sufficient flamboyance enough to pull it off.  For the majority of us, one sensibly chosen item should do it; and for those of us who like to push the envelope, try two, but remember that you are walking a fine line.  Just a tad too much and you’re over, and go from hip to hide-your-eyes in a millisecond.  But if you can look suave AND have something about the way you roll that gets the ladies’ eyes…Now that is a great start.  If you don’t believe me, try it, and watch how many women say to you “Oh, I love your orange scarf!” or “I love your herringbone blazer!”  Furthermore, and here’s the clincher, it is Cougars who most of all appreciate and go “gah-gah” over a guy who can pull off a lil’ flair!!

Friday night’s a long way away boys, better get yourself that Magic Item if you wanna use that magic stick!

Your Man in Havana,

Oliver Van Peeples

Tags: alcohol, clothes, flare, one item