Cougar Hunter of the Week

Posted on 09. Feb, 2007 by Elias Boston in Cougar Hunters

SPECIAL DEDICATION

Just in time for the Grammy’s, we got a very special Cougar Hunter of the Week going out to a man who needs no introduction: Justin Timberlake, aka JT, the boy wonder. Our boy hunted one of the finest cougs in showbiz: Cameron Diaz, aka Diaz Mio, the Diaz that Won’t Quit (Cougaris Cameronillinadiazingus).

From the second she stepped on as Tina Carlisle in The Mask we knew it was on. For the love of shit-swilling-single-malt, she was responsible for turning me onto masturbation at the tender age of 12. And if my calculations are correct, I had close to 3,000 children with her by now.

STATE OF THE UNION Yes we all heard the press declare this relationship was fineto. That is to say, a one-way ticket to Overville. Fizzleberg. Shitsylvania.

THE HORIZON Rumor has it that Ms. D couldn’t be caged, but we still give love to JT. He tamed that wildcat for a few years. We can’t fault him. One look at the Cameron pelt and she’ll make a believer outta you.

FINAL THOUGHT Our query: Will Justin stay with the cougar hunting profession? Any HC readers going for Cameron’s pelt?  We heard she uses a straightening iron on that shit. Mmmmmm. Now that’s how you sell a WonderBra.

Tags: cameron diaz, celebrity, chotw, grammy's, jt, justin timberlake