The Card Case

Posted on 06. Feb, 2007 by Oliver Van Peeples in Hunting Aides

Today I bring to you, at my own expense, a story that falls on the lighter side of the hunt!

This past Saturday night the gang and I stepped to Dupont Circle to see what was going down. Now, before going any further, a brief word about Saturday night, or “Amateur Night” as myself and many seasoned party-goers prefer to dub it. Make no mistake, Saturday night can be a great time, but it is THE night when everyone and their uncle, so-to-speak, is out running around. And thus often much of the more sophisticated “Sunday thru Thursday” Cougar crowd is just not to be found; I suppose the thought of squirming drunk sweaty youths pounding Jaeger shots and leering left and right fails to amuse or arouse. Remember this: Off night is Cougar night at your more swanky joints.

Now, to tell the tale! I always keep 2 business cards in my wallet in case I meet someone I would like to pass my information on to, whether it be for a professional contact or a sultry, shag-pad invitation. So this Saturday night I realized I was out of cards, and smartly stocked my wallet with 2, fresh from the pile.

I went out and was having a ball.  Though no Cougs materialized as the night wore on, I found myself engaged with a tastefully low-cut brunette (and I don’t mean her hair, that was long and shiny) named Missy, who works in DC. We had a splendid conversation about cephalopods, the coco de mer, bristle-brush accessories (article by Dutch Vandermeer on the way!), and things that go bump in the night.

The night was coming to a close, and I was digging this young lady, and she I, so I said “Well lassie, what say you I give you my card, and we thread the pretzel in yoga class sometime after work?” And as I spoke I whipped out my wallet and produced a card, and she took it with a smile and trotted out.

Next morning, I’m recounting the story to Dutch Vandermeer, and he says “Oh, let me see one of your cards.” I of course obliged and popped open my wallet, and pulled out — oh my gosh! — the same 2 cards I had placed there the night before. “Rats!” I exclaimed, and then noticed that my Blue Cross card was missing.

The moral of the story? Well, there’s one woman who woke up Sunday morning with health coverage she never expected to have. And who knows, maybe she slipped on a banana peel on her way to confession and saved $1990.00 ($10 co-pay) on a $2,000 hospital bill. So I am happy that I was able to help this ‘lil cutie, and maybe she’ll be so swept away by my bold advances (nobody gives away health insurance for free in America!), she’ll actually give me a call.

All optimistic thinking aside, today’s lesson is: Keep Your Piece In A Silver Case. Because when that limber cougar comes a’ padding, you don’t wanna fumble like the Super Bowl!

Tags: accessories, card case, case, dc, night out