A Close Call at TGIF

Posted on 23. Jan, 2007 by Rocky McGuillicutty in Close Calls, Cougars Defined

Fellow hunters,

This is my first entry to HuntingCougar.com and it’s about a close call with a zoo coug (definition to follow).  I’m not a regular hunter, but with the creation of this blog came motivation to try new things.

I was on a date with a young lady at my local TGI Friday’s when I saw a fine older lady being escorted to her table.  Her low-cut, kelly green top, little denim jacket and nimble movement on three inch healed, knee-high, black leather boots made me take a second and third look.   I’m used to dating younger women, so I felt a little funny eying one that was probably ten years older than me.

However intrigued I was, there was something about her that alerted me that she was NOT hunting a young man and therefore not huntable (new word).  A few steps behind her followed the reason why: a gentleman, her age, who looked like wrestling, mullets, and 1987 just made a comeback.  I took a swig of my tall Bud Light, ignored my date and tracked her across the room.  She looked at her mullet-man like he was road kill and we all know cougars aren’t scavengers.

Only a caged cougar or one locked in a zoo would deal with a dish like that so I had to see if I could break her free and that’s when I caught her eying me.  I remembered from my cougar survival training, to maintain eye contact at all times and never turn your back; they hunt on cunning and stealth.  She was scanning the room, looking for something fresh when her eyes caught mine.  She did a double take, and shot me a smile.  Not a yearbook photo smile, but something subtle with a slight wrinkle in her brow.  Her instincts had kicked in and she wanted to come after me.

My date picked up a phone call from her mom or something so I went to the bar to order another beer; I was settling in for the hunt.  I locked in on my gaze, only briefly taking my eyes off her to witness some championship ping-pong battles on ESPN2.  I sipped on a brown ale and waited for my opportunity.  She frequently let her eyes wander over to me to make sure I was still there.  She knew I was game.

Then it happened.  Her mullet donning partner couldn’t hold his bladder anymore and left the table.  As he turned the corner, I grabbed my beer and made my way across the landscape, without taking my sight off her.  She recognized the move with a look of curiosity.  I was delivering her a choice piece of living prey and now it was up to her to follow her instincts and pounce.

I pulled out the chair across from her which was still warm from WWE’s biggest fan.  I introduced myself as Rocky.  She was Linda.  I had only one question for her:  “What was a classy lady doing in TGIF’s?”  She let out a shy, cute laugh, but I knew her insignificant other would be back any minute and I couldn’t let him see me freeing his cages.  We exchanged the normal pleasantries: occupation, education, music.  She was a catch, a top-notch specimen of cougar.  She wasn’t accustomed to having someone half her age be so forward, but I could tell she liked it.

Her partner’s bladder had been relieved by now, so I had to make a quick exit.  She recognized the urgency and with a swipe of her paw presented me with her business card.  I shot back the last of my ale and headed back to my date to split the bill and bounce.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Linda grinning, satisfied with the quick chase I had given her.  Her date had returned, but I felt satisfied knowing I had loosened the bars and that one day this close call would be a catch.

Zoo coug: An older woman unfamiliar with the ways of a wild cougar.  She’ll settle for men her own age even if they aren’t in her same league.  A hunter must be bolder around a zoo coug since they are tamer and might not even recognize a younger man as prey at first.

Tags: bar, caged, classification, tgif, zoo coug